Anytime that there is conflict, most would agree that it is always preferred that peace and other nonviolent resolution can ward off the pending hostility. Unfortunately, this is the way countries often settle issues and disputed ideologies escalate their conflicts by showing their inflexibility.  It boils down to all relationships, and even in the simplest of them which is one human being and another human being (perhaps even originating in love) have disagreements to the points of conflict. They are, however, fueled and maintained by two individuals and in no situation should they result in violence. 

Several factors play into the tipping of a relationship from disagreements to violence. Violence in most domestic relationships is the manifestation of frustration, communication disability, or undiagnosed mental disability. The violent bursts are either an imitation of experienced trauma, or a means of forcing control over the other partner through threat of injury or harm or other damage. Remember that this may be a gradual shift in behavior or may have been embedded in behavior all along but surfacing in answer to a recent set of life events or conflicts. Intimate partners are just as easily victims of rape or sexual violence as well as battery, and each is entitled to the freedom of safe passage into or out of such relationship.

Mr. Nice Guy Bail Bonds encourages anyone in a threatening relationship situation reach out to any of the counseling services (hot-lines) that can provide support to victims of domestic violence. (800) 7997233 is the NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE and when it is safe for the partner to reach out, do so with a pen and paper to take down the contacts for your area.  Every major city in California has available shelters and in most cases provides support in multiple languages.

Unless Expressly Stated, Causing Pain is not Positive

No better time than the Holidays to bring out the good will in humankind, and there’s a list as long as Santa’s to remind you of your to-do’s or to-not’s.   Keep in mind that domestic violence is not something that you want small children to associate with holiday memories, so no matter what the cost or risk is to your relationship, seek the route that leads to safety.  Statistically almost all children who can remember repeated instances of domestic violence are subject to act out similarly in their own future.  This is really not the seed that you want to see spread around.  

All the explanations, reasons, protection orders, and items that you need beyond what you carry can wait until the adult times to talk in front of a counselor or judge.   In most cases, love doesn’t leave bruises on your body or distress in the eyes of your children.  You deserve a night of non-intimidating and non-threatened sleep.  If your conflict can’t be resolved, you must take the steps necessary to protect the innocent and make sure that you can safely greet the next day and the new year.  The laws in California are very clear about abusive relationships and extricating one’s self from harm’s way.

• Physical abuse. Get pictures immediately and get in contact with the police.
• Emotional abuse. Have specific incidents documented and others at risk for abuse.
• Have your protection order available, if it has already been filed or be prepared to file a new one.
• Be sure to list any substances suspected to be influencing the aggressor, any weapons they might have.
• Identify all forms of contact you want stopped and in the case of your phone block all communication without caller-id or from selected numbers.

Mr. Nice Guy Bail Bonds Agents are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to handle the release of persons who may have been arrested on domestic violence charges (844) 400-2245. If you are assisting someone you know who is facing this charge, you need to prevent them from doing anything that will make the situation worse (like take them to get their things from the house they share with the victimized partner.  The arrestee can be released to attend work and care for personal business that’s necessary before they appear for the arraignment phase of the arrest.  Be the best friend or family member you can be and don’t let them make the problem even larger by chasing their partner (former partner) down.

Take the Side of Self-Preservation and Not Perpetuation

At the point that one party in a relationship resorts to physical or mental abuse of the subordinate partner, it’s important to stand back and look at the situation as an illness.  Even participants sometimes need to be reminded of what they have come to expect as normal.  You might see the situation as a one-time lightning strike but if you have said this more than once than it is time to look at the symptoms a little closer.  All the love in the world will not change a person’s disposition if it has become so full of hostility or contempt. No romantic hopes will improve it, no sudden change of heart will silence or make the other person feel bad about what they are doing. The most important thing is to live through it and permit the courts and the penalty phase to extract the apologies.

Sobriety and clarity are two things usually missing from the lives of both victim and the perpetrator in the situation of domestic abuse. The abused has been conditioned by actions of the abuser, who has in turn become defined by the warped self-vision. The more anger you swear to release, the further into the hole you will find yourself.

The professional agents at Mr. Nice Guy Bail Bonds will handle each client with the utmost care and confidentiality. Call (844) 400-2245 to get reasonable bail bond options for a person who has violated a  protection order or in jail on a first time abuse charge. The abusers need neutral support and help as much as the visibly harmed victim. Remember that a bail bond is usually a small percentage of the bail amount set to get the person free to tell their story. Prevent them from letting the case get worse.

NEW YEAR’S EVEN

People who start the New Year with a kiss at midnight think they have the whole year to improve on that. That’s a great nod toward the romantic in most people. Since domestic violence tends to be more rampant during times of financial crisis (overspending) or excessive behavior (too much partying) start the New Year with steps toward change to the positive. Take the steps necessary to control or revise your behavior so you don’t become part of a terrible statistic or take the steps necessary to depart from what is a NO WIN situation.

When you commit an act of domestic violence or abuse on an elder, you are immediately subject to a felony on your record.  That will impact every aspect of your life until restitution has been made and it becomes legally allowable to say you are a member of society. 

In the long run, you will like having a restriction-free life or a fear-free life.